


No Dawn, No Day

by lieweaver (orphan_account)



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Extremely Dubious Consent, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-13
Updated: 2018-03-13
Packaged: 2019-03-30 17:10:45
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,005
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13956216
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/lieweaver
Summary: Prompt: "Steve thinks that he and Tony are in a healthy, romantic relationship. Tony thinks if he doesn't do what Steve wants, he'll get kicked off the team."





	No Dawn, No Day

**Author's Note:**

> This was written to fulfill a [kink meme prompt](http://avengerkink.livejournal.com/13316.html?thread=30880772#t30880772) back in early 2013. It's being crossposted here from Livejournal ages later. I make no guarantees as to quality; I'm putting it here unedited, in the same form as it was written in in 2013.

Tony doesn't know when he got so scared.

He's Tony _Stark_ , he's a genius and he's survived being kidnapped and tortured, shot at, he's survived fighting terrorists and copies of his own suit and goddamn _aliens_ , he's survived his arc reactor getting ripped out of his chest and palladium poisoning and dragging a nuclear bomb into a portal from which there wasn't meant to be a return - he's done all that. And he's still so scared of this?

It's just a team. It's not important, he's always worked by himself before - he should be perfectly fine with doing everything on his own again. But he's - he's found that he enjoys working with a team. It's nice to start turning around to block a blow, wincing in anticipation of being too slow, and hear the clang of it already being blocked by Cap's shield or the grunt of the opponent being knocked down by Natasha; it's nice to toss a piece-of-junk robot at the Hulk or at Thor, knowing they'll pick up the fight while he dives to intercept a different robot before it shoots one of the others; it's _amazing_ to see how much trust Clint has in him when the man flings himself off a building, still shooting, trusting, just _knowing_ that Iron Man will catch him before he hits the ground. They're all like that, they all trust each other, and the way Tony will start laughing, a little hysterically, after a particularly insane fight is over and they're all fine, and then they're all laughing, and the adrenaline boils down to tired contentment -

He's never had that before. Not like this. Rhodey's his best friend and they've relied on each other and owed each other so much he's lost count, and he loves Pepper, loves her for putting up with the times when he was drunk or insensitive or just plain an asshole. But this? This is different. It's like a drug he can't give up. It'll probably get him killed someday, and he doesn't even care.

He _needs_ his team.

And if he takes a single misstep, he won't have it anymore.

That's why he's so scared.

Tony lies down, forces himself to relax, and tries as hard as he can to pretend that it's someone else.

\---

He doesn't remember the exact words which started this. He doesn't even remember the day - not the date, anyway, not at first, nothing other than it being during winter. But he does remember that he had a meeting earlier that day, and later, when he's mired so deep in this he can't breathe, he asks Pepper which day it was on, out of a sort of horrified, sickened curiosity. And then he knows.

January 9th, that's the day it was. He'd just finished gulping down his coffee like a man dying of thirst, set the coffee machine to making some more - and had overheard two voices in the corridor outside - quiet, but one of the voices with an agitated lilt to it. He hadn't been able to resist creeping closer to the door, a touch concerned - and if it turned out there was no reason to be concerned, he'd burst out and startle them. It'd be fun.

He stopped when he could make out the words, though, suddenly able to tell it was Cap that was so frustrated.

Steve hissed something out, something about not even being able to be on the same team soon, at this rate, and then Clint responded - almost sounding a bit amused, though that would strike Tony wrong, later - with a question, about just saying so, to 'his' face. That maybe it'd help. Steve's response was a vehement denial, an I can't do that, and that was about when Tony, deciding to edge a bit closer, slipped on the tiles of the kitchen floor. He flailed, catching himself against a chair, which moved backwards under his weight, with a loud scraping sound, and the voices immediately ceased.

Tony nearly ran to the coffee machine, as loudly as he dared, and pretended to be just waiting for his cup, leaning against the chair near it.

When Steve and Clint peered in, they seemed to accept that he hadn't overheard, especially when he half-waved to them and growled something about them having to wait if they wanted coffee, it was his machine, don't think he didn't remember Clint stealing the cup from right under his nose a few days ago, thanks.

It was the short flash of blatant relief on Cap's face that he hadn't overheard that started the sinking feeling in Tony's stomach, though.

If it was okay for Clint to hear, but not him, then...

\---

The worst thing was - well, no, alright, not the worst thing. But one of the bad things, one of the things that all piled together to make this thing a whole clusterfuck of fear and misery for him - was that he thought that under other circumstances he might have enjoyed doing this with Steve.

The man was good looking, for one thing. Blond hair and bright blue eyes and that air of good old-fashioned integrity always about him. Commanding if he wanted to be, and he wore almost all his clothes as if they were a uniform. Tony could like a man in uniform.

He babbled kind words and praise like he was a never-ending spring of them, wasn't bothered by the arc reactor constantly glowing from Tony's chest, stroked gentle hands through hair in a way that Tony would really have enjoyed in any other situation, even if he'd never admit it. And Steve was always careful. Always asked if what he was doing was fine, even if Tony rarely answered in anything but the affirmative, only if something was bothering him to the point that it would be noticed even in near complete darkness. Always apologized and retreated if Tony _did_ how signs of discomfort, didn't manage to hide it. Never asked for anything if Tony was injured, and that had had Tony juggle the idea of trying to get injured on purpose before throwing it away. He was always kind.

Every once in a while, Tony tried to make himself believe that he didn't mind this at all, that it was just like one of his one night stands, a good one even. A repeated one, alright, but still not that different, and see, this was a good thing, he'd had barely any time for one night stands since becoming Iron Man.

But he couldn't, because of the fear.

If he didn't satisfy Steve, he'd be off the team. He'd heard it, weeks or months ago, heard Steve say that they couldn't be on the same team, and if this was the thing changing his mind, Tony couldn't stop it. He had no illusions - Captain America was more important to the team than Iron Man was. Captain America was the _leader_. Iron Man would be the one kicked off the team, and then Tony would be alone again, and he didn't - he couldn't make himself do that.

So it was fear that had him always saying yes, fear that didn't let him enjoy a single second of it, fear that ruined it all.

Tony closed his eyes, shifted so that the arms wrapped around him were easier to ignore, and made himself go to sleep.

\---

January 13th was the next time something came up, alert ringing through his phone. Tony dug himself out of the workshop, where he'd been hiding the past few days under the guise of working on the next version of his suit, and had JARVIS call up his current one, darting outside as soon as it was on and heading towards the origin of the signal.

Black Widow and the Captain were already there when Iron Man arrived, and he pinged the Captain's comm as he approached. He managed the "Alright, I'm here, Cap -" almost casually, cutting himself off before he said 'Capsicle' - "What do you want me to do?"

The Captain told him, and for once, he followed orders to the letter. If Cap - kicked him off the team, didn't want to work with him, then it had to be because he was always raring at the bit, always racing off on his own clever plan. And they _were_ clever, worked quite often, but he knew Steve always gave him a frustrated look after, scolded him for not following directions. He just hadn't realized how _much_ it was bothering the man, that he wanted Tony gone. He needed to fix that quickly, and doing that meant obeying instructions, no matter what bright ideas he had. He could do that.

It - wasn't that bad, actually. He saw a few openings he really wanted to go for, but it wasn't as hard as he thought to just let them go, and the Cap's plan _worked_ , even if maybe, in the privacy of Tony's head, he thought he'd have been able to do it faster his way.

It was certainly good to feel the rush of relief when Steve smiled at him, after. He could be a better team player, see? An asset to the team. Steve smiling had to be a good sign, it meant Tony was improving, Steve would still want him working with the Avengers...

Later that day he saw Steve and Clint whispering to each other, Steve's expression very worrying. This time Tony couldn't come closer without them noticing, but the spike in his stomach drove in deeper, and the tide of panic rose.

He threw himself into missions, followed orders exactly, alerted the team about new hostiles instead of rushing to take them out himself first like before. He worked like a perfect robot in front of the Captain with a kind of quiet desperation, cut down on his chatter over the comms as much as he could whenever he noticed he was doing it - and he always did stop talking when Steve barked at them to focus on the fight.

And it still didn't seem to help.

\---

"Tony?"

Tony rolled onto his back, after a moment making himself lean into the hand rubbing through his hair. It would almost have bee nice, if not for...

"Yeah, 'm awake," he mumbled sleepily, keeping his eyes closed.

Steve pulled him closer, and they lay in silence for long minutes while the sun started to rise and poked tendrils of light past the edges of the curtains. Tony let his eyes trace over them woozily - at this time of year, it meant it was probably right about six am.  
If anything good had come of this, it was that Tony was rarely tired these days - physically at least. He hid in his workshop through most of the day unless there was an alert, but Steve always dragged him out in the evening, if only just to socialize with the other Avengers - and they both went to bed pretty early - very early by Tony's standards. At this rate, he was going to start having a regular sleeping pattern all by himself now.

Finally, Tony heard a sigh and a, "We should tell the rest of the team. I don't like keeping secrets."

Tony stiffened nearly immediately _Tell_ them? What, it wasn't enough that he was doing this, now the rest of the Avengers had to find out, stare at him in contempt for the rest of his time working with them? The Captain wanting to show off how obedient he was now --  
Steve wouldn't do that, right?

But Tony hadn't thought Steve would do this either. Even if this was what people usually wanted from him, either this or his work, he hadn't thought _Steve_...

...if he didn't agree, would the Captain throw him off the team? He didn't know. By this time, he almost didn't care - but then he made himself think about the feeling of others fighting at his back again. He'd put too much effort into staying on it by now, it would be a waste to quit now - this whole thing the past few months, it would have just been a pointless drag through constant fear. And there wasn't really anything preventing the Captain from just telling them after he left if he did, or from telling them without his permission - it'd be much better if he just agreed now. Before any trouble.

Steve shifted as if in concern, a hand gently clasping one of Tony's and curling his fingers into his palm. "Tony, are -"

Tony realized that he was still stiff, frozen in place, and made himself untense. "Yeah, sure, Cap. I don't mind." A casual grin, just in case the Captain could see his face reflected off the room's mirror - his press smile, but the Captain wouldn't be able to tell the difference. That was the way he'd been smiling at the blond man the whole time, after all. There'd maybe been one or two of his real grins way back when, during the whole thing with the Chitauri and not long after, but recently...

"Tell 'em if you'd like," he offered again, pushing back into the Captain's chest for a second, trying to reassure that his little slip hadn't actually been anything meaningful. Then he pulled himself away lightly, shifting into sitting on the edge of the bed and stretching. "But I need coffee first."

\---

March 11th was when it came to a head, and that was a date Tony actually did remember without needing to check later. Another of the endless him-imitators was back, though at least this one had only tried to imitate his suit as some sort of mass produced robots rather than a duplicate of Iron Man. Mass produced robots were always weak - even supervillains had limits to their resources somewhere. And somehow, they never learned that mass produced robots would never be enough to take out the Avengers.

This one hadn't bothered with trying to copy his repulsor design - the humanoid robots facing them wielded flamethrowers until their fuel for those ran out, and then switched to some sort of weak laser beam and hand to hand contact. The flamethrowers had a limited enough range, so coming just within it and then dodging just out of reach was soon enough to exhaust the robots' resources, with their painfully simple AIs not able to figure out the tactic. Tony couldn't help but scoff, even if he turned off the comm for the few seconds he needed first.

The laser beams just skidded over the armour of his suit, deflecting off the alloy, and the Hulk just swatted them off like sprays from a water pistol - whoever built these robots hadn't done the research. The direct blows were more worrisome - even the single one that had glanced off his upper arm had left small cracks across his suit. He avoided any more hits by darting into the air and blasting from above, but... What sort of power did these robot _have?_ Nothing like the normal minions before.

\- come to think of it, what was powering them in the first place?

He'd figure it out when they salvaged after the battle. For the moment, he listened to the Captain's barked command that he go help out Natasha - expert enough to take out even Cap or Thor in one on one battle most of the time she might be, even she struggled when her weight was this much outclassed.

Cap had been getting more curt with him, dropping as few words as possible whenever they talked - and that was even over the comms. When they ran into each other at the Tower, the Captain sometimes clenched his fists, as if trying to restrain himself from doing something. Attack him, like they'd nearly done back on the helicarrier? Shake him? Just kick him off the team then and there?

Tony was maybe panicking. Just a little bit. He had no idea what he was still doing wrong.

A few repulsor blasts were enough to get the robots surrounding Natasha off her back, at least for long enough for her to plunge a shard of metal into a chink in the leader's armour, near the neck. She twisted sideways carefully, and the thing sparked and shut down, freezing in place. Tony continued to help from above, until she gestured him impatiently away, starting to finish off the last few. Natasha was pretty notorious for wanting to fight for herself, and when she did want cover, she usually preferred it from Clint. She'd been calming down on that regard, slowly, but she still didn't like anyone helping when she didn't think she needed it.

Tony shrugged, the suit shifting with his movements easily, and turned back, flaring the repulsors in his boots and zipping back towards the main battle - also nearly done. Cap and the Hulk were fighting side by side - the Hulk still hadn't quite grasped the concept of back to back, not staying in position when he got carried away in the fight, even if he still tried to protect the rest of the Avengers. And -

There was a robot creeping up behind Steve, the man distracted with blocking a different one in front of him. Tony's eyes widened momentarily, and he dived downward - later, if he had time to analyze his thoughts, they would probably have been a little bit 'if I protect him again, at least he'll still think the team needs me' but mostly the same surge of 'team' and just 'team' he got whenever one of the others got in trouble.

He slammed into it from the side, throwing both himself and the 'bot past Steve and the Hulk. But he didn't have time to stop it from swinging at him midflight, not with his attention on getting it away, and a hard fist smashed into his chest.

He choked, suddenly unable to breathe, doubling over. That - how had that -

JARVIS fired for him, taking over momentarily, and the robot fell away. That was enough for Tony to let himself fall to his knees, wheezing and staring down at himself. For a moment, a completely different pang of fear from the usual swept through him, when he saw the protective covering over the arc reactor cracked - but it was only the suit's covering, the reactor itself not even flickering. His armour a bit to the left of it was much worse off - caved in, digging into flesh-and-blood him, constricting. That was why he was having such difficulty breathing - he could only take in small gulps of air without pain digging into him, shards poking into his skin. Not the worst he'd had, not even close really, but -

Fucking _hell_ , what were those robot _made_ of? He knew his armour was made to be light, but it still wasn't usually damaged that easily -

It took him longer than it normally did to notice the sounds of battle had actually died down in the interim. Tony twisted as much as he could, his head turning to see the Hulk panting through his nose with fists balanced on the ground, then he started to stand -

Hands on his shoulders stopped him, and he stared up, wincing and retracting his faceplate when he couldn't look up that far. By that time, Steve was already crouching down in front of him, a look of intensity that Tony couldn't figure out on his face.

"Tony, you need to stop throwing yourself -" But didn't Cap see, the whole reason he was doing that was because he needed to be on the team, he was trying to prove that, he wasn't trying to annoy any of them or disobey orders or anything, he just...

Tony registered, a bit woozily, that he was being shaken lightly, just before wincing, clenching his eyes shut, and trying really hard not to double over again - that would _hurt_. And then suddenly, he wasn't moving again, a sharp intake of breath the only reaction from Cap.

"S-sorry, I didn't mean to -"

"Yeah, yeah," Tony said wearily, shifting to start standing up again. "I'm fine, don't worry about i -"

Lips pressed against his interrupted him, and he froze in place, staring blankly forward in confusion. What -

"Please take better care of yourself. I need..." whispered against his mouth, before Steve pulled back, a thumb running softly over his cheek, not finishing the sentence. Then the Captain stood, helped pull him up carefully, before - turning and almost running.

Tony stared after him uncomprehendingly. He needed... Tony to be unharmed? Why? Didn't he hate Tony?

But a kiss during that meant - oh _Oh._ as that the last thing the Captain wanted? If Tony did that, maybe the Captain would want him to stay around, if just for that?

Tony - Tony could do that. It was for the team. He _could_.

\---

The next time the Captain kissed him, Tony participated. As willingly as he could pretend, and he could pretend very well.

It escalated from there.

And it did seem to work. The Captain was talking to him on the comms now, seemed happier. No more whispered, tense words in the corridors - he still talked with Clint, as he did with all the members of the team but Tony up until then, but loudly, openly. No more risks of being kicked off the team. And when Tony slipped up and teased Thor over the comm one time, Steve didn't seem to object at all. In fact, things started improving in general, Steve once or twice joining in on the banter, and Tony got more leeway on the solitary plans, even. A bit out of practice with them, he was, and by now he was more used to working with the team, but when he did dash off alone and improvise something, Steve let him explain, without cutting conversations short and striding off as if not being able to bear talking to him.

It was working. So Tony kept on doing it without protest.

\---

Telling the team had, surprisingly, not been as bad as it sounded. After a bit, Tony even found it in himself to be surprised that none of them had noticed anything before - at least, they all acted as if they hadn't. He'd have thought Natasha or Clint would have noticed - they were both notorious for sneaking around. But apparently he and the Captain had been careful enough.

And Steve didn't gloat, which Tony found himself very grateful for. As far as the other Avengers knew, they'd just been both seeing each other in secret, willingly, for the past few months. Thor had even congratulated them, boisterously  and Bruce had given him a small smile. Which had hurt, a bit, but much better than them knowing the truth and their opinion of him dropping to below their boots. Clint teased them, but both of them equally, and Steve even blushed. It'd been funny, though the first time Tony had been teased he'd panicked a bit, and once again the first time it had happened to Steve, wondering if that would change Steve's mind and then Tony really would be off the team, with no enticement to keep him in it.

Nothing much else seemed to change. Steve kissed him in public more often, but only in Avengers Tower, and they were expected to cuddle more, but he'd gotten used to that.

\---

Natasha was the first who noticed something off, started giving him worried looks. Of course she would. She'd been spying on him during that whole debacle with Vanko and Hammer and the palladium poisoning, and she'd learned his tells - she could tell which of his smiles were fake and which genuine, and obviously, after a few weeks of nearly all his smiles at Steve being his plastered-on ones that he used for the paparazzi, she knew there was something off. Tony wondered if the only reason she took that long was because she thought that part of the reason was him and Steve being together openly was bothering him at first.

It seemed to stop at worried looks, after the time he saw and couldn't repress the scared flicker in his own eyes. Natasha knew, she _knew_ , but she turned away carefully that time, and after that, even if he felt eyes on his back often, she was always talking to Clint or no longer taking a break from sparring with Thor or Steve by the time he looked up. It stretched his nerves thin for days, until he finally decided that apparently she wasn't going to do anything about it.

He was wrong.

\---

Tony blinked, then spun around on his swivel chair as the door clicked open and shut. Halfway through the maneuver, he aborted, just tossing his feet up onto his desk and leaning the chair back, staring at the entrant to the room upside down. It was Steve, though he'd have been able to tell in a few seconds anyway, what with the pattern of footsteps.

"What's up, Cap?"

Steve looked - uncomfortable. And worried. Weird, but - he didn't look angry, or horny, so Tony could relax for the moment. He waited for Cap to say something, absently returning his attention to the folder of paperwork on his knees - he was actually doing it, for once, Pepper having nagged him again just the previous day. That was why he was in his office halfway down the tower, to grab it and just do it while he was at it, even if there weren't any people up on this floor on a Sunday.

"Tony..."

"Yeah?" He finished scanning over the next sheet and signed it with a flourish, then paused as the tone of the other sank in. Alright, so, maybe this was something serious. Tony flipped the folder closed and slid it onto his desk, pushing off it to turn and face Steve.

"Tony, Natasha said... you didn't look happy?" A question, this time.

A new spike of panic ran through Tony's stomach. Who had Natasha babbled to? Probably Clint, but it could have been any of them, Steve talked with all of them all the time, could have overheard easily -

Maybe it was that that made him scoff instead of answer with an apology as genuine as he could fake like he normally would have. "Well, I'm sorry if I can't act well enough for Fury's pet super-spy to not notice -"

"Act?" Steve sounded - entirely perplexed now, and even more worried, and Tony wasn't sure why. But Steve's own act of confusion was making bile rise in his throat, so he hissed back shortly.

"Well, yeah, now could you let me get back to this, so Pepper doesn't get on my case again tomorrow? I'll try harder at it tomorrow, okay, just not now -"

Steve interrupted him. "Tony, what's wrong, why are you - what did I do wrong -"

And that, Steve sounding as if he thought this was a normal relationship, instead of a payment, sounding like he really was worried about Tony's happiness instead of the act - Tony wasn't sure why he even still wanted Tony to keep up the act, rather than show off - was what made Tony snap entirely.

" _Excuse me_ if I'm not exactly enjoying _whoring myself out_ o you, even if it is to stay on the team! If you're going to kick me out, do it now, if not, can't you leave me alone for just one day? I swear I'll get back to being your fucktoy tomorrow, just give me _one day_ to take a break!" He needed one day off, if all the Avengers were going to be staring and whispering and laughing about him from now on -  
Tony was surprised to notice Steve cringing at every vulgar phrase - confusion soon replaced by - maybe horror...?

"...Tony, you really thought that was what I was..."

Tony stayed silent. Now he felt like he was the one who'd been dropped into a pit of confusion. Of course that was what it had been, Steve avoiding him until they started fucking, and - "I heard you talking to Clint," he accused. "Saying we couldn't be on the same team."

"That's not what I - Tony, I was telling him how hard it was being on the same team when I was so stuck on you. I didn't want to do anything, you weren't acting interested back, I don't think you'd even noticed then, so it was - and then I didn't want to bother you with it, so I tried not talking to you much, and then you got hurt and I couldn't help it. You're a member of the Avengers, Tony, of course you're on the team, I wouldn't have the right to kick you out any more than anyone else did!" Steve even looked a bit sickened now, like he would be if he was just realizing that... the person he thought he'd been having a relationship with had actually believed themselves forced into it at the same time...

No. No, that couldn't be it, there'd been months of this, Steve would have _noticed_ but now that Tony came to think of it, he'd made himself act affectionate in return, not wanting to show how much it was bothering him and not wanting to anger the Captain if the man wanted faked affection on top of the sex. And Steve'd never have seen how he acted if he really was returning affection, most people hadn't and he'd jumped straight into acting this time on top of that so there wouldn't even be indifference to compare it to -

"You're lying," Tony snarled, only now noticing that he was standing, fists clenched but body tensed defensively. If Steve wasn't lying, that meant this whole time -

"I'm not lying, Tony, I wouldn't lie to you." The other's eyes were broadcasting - still horror, a lot of it, but a lot of guilt on top of that, and if that wasn't a sign - "I lo -"

" _You're lying,_ " Tony spat out again, turning around, shaking slightly. He wasn't sure what it was in, his own anger, helplessness, but either way - a few footsteps, and a hand descended on his shoulder worriedly. Tony bristled and smacked it away.

There was silence for a few moments, and then Cap swallowed. "I'll - I'll leave you alone..."

He trailed off, backing away, hovering at the door for a long few seconds before leaving entirely. It took much longer for Tony to finally turn around, and longer than that for him to calm down enough to do anything but stand and... fume? He still couldn't tell. He tried to go back and finish signing those papers, for lack of knowing what else to do, but he was just too agitated to concentrate on seeing exactly what he was seeing, and eventually he gave up. He stalked off to the workshop, deciding to go get himself very drunk and spend a few hours taking stuff apart.

It wouldn't leave him alone for the rest of that day, though, no matter how much he drank - the memory of Steve's voice sounding so very, very small.

\---

The next week was... a mess, to be honest. Tony half expected Steve to come barging in and claim that it had been some sort of joke, that they were back to the status quo it had been at just a month ago. Steve didn't, but whenever Tony was forced out of the workshop to eat _something_ , Steve was usually somewhere in the common areas, and he looked torn between chasing after Tony and just - leaving entirely.

The rest of the team was just as odd. They kept staring at the two of them, worried, though they backed off whenever Tony insisted he didn't want to talk about anything, and apparently the same was true of when they talked to Steve. Natasha, bless her, didn't tell any of the rest what she'd put together, and Tony was almost ready to forgive her everything else for that.

Eventually, somehow, it - got better. Tony and Steve still avoided each other, Tony with much less reluctance, and they settled into an uneasy truce, working together with as few words as possible on the battlefield and staying mostly in their own bits of the tower at home. Clint, Bruce, and Thor eventually just assumed they'd had some sort of really horrible falling out, and they avoided the subject after, even if Thor kept giving both of them incredibly sad looks.

Slowly, slowly, they even started to slip into their routine from before all this. They traded banter inadvertently in the heat of a fight, clamming up as soon as they realized what they doing, and eventually let themselves relax into doing it normally. They started talking to each other again, at first just to see the rest of the team acting happier, eventually out of habit, and not too long after that out of an uneasy camaraderie  It wasn't close to the same as it had been since just after the Chitauri invasion, but - it worked. It was just different.

\---

"I still want to fix this," said Steve one day months later, out of the blue.

It was dark, though the stars weren't too easily visible with the lights of New York shining about them. They were both tired, sweaty, banged up - back from a battle that had actually happened more than half an hour ago, but Tony hadn't wanted to get out of the armour, just collapse on the roof with his helmet off and stare down at the place they were fighting so hard to protect. The breeze was nice, and he'd ended up staying there long enough that Steve had come up and joined him, hair wet from showering off debris and dirt. Tony supposed he should do that too, but - in a few minutes.

He turned his head slightly to show that he was listening, perplexed for a moment. "Fix...?"

"I meant what I - didn't manage to finish saying, back then," Steve said quietly. "I know I might be waiting for a while, but I do want to fix this. Try again and do it the right way, this time."

Tony looked at him sharply, figuring out now what he was talking about. "You're probably going to be waiting forever. I'm not -" ...he was surprised to realize it wasn't bothering him nearly as much as it had been the last time he'd checked, a long time ago now. Time really did help with wounds, apparently. But he still wasn't " - not ready, yet. Won't be for a long time, if at all. If you're fine with that..."

"Of course I am." Steve's voice didn't get any softer, but it didn't get any louder, either. "...just because I didn't realize, then, didn't give me any right to do that to you. Heck, I'm - I'm still a bit surprised you want anything to do with me even now."

Tony stayed silent.

"I'll wait as long as you need me to wait." Steve gave him a weak smile. "If that's forever, I can do that."

Tony weighed this, metal-covered fingers scraping across the roof slightly. Then he sighed, not entirely sadly. "Yeah. Yeah, alright. I can do that too. Not ready for anything else yet, but how about we - try being friends again? Officially and all. And we'll see where it goes from there."

That had been hard to say - Tony still didn't quite want to say they were friends again aloud, even if they basically acted like it already, by this point. And it was sounded painfully corny, meaningless, to him, even if he hadn't meant it that way. But it was worth it for the way Steve's eyes lit up, his smile turned a bit more real, even if at the moment, Tony could only bring himself to care in the fact that it was one of his teammates a bit happier. He grinned back, just as weakly, but meaning it no less.

"Friends. I want to try that."

They shook on it.


End file.
